Off campus event

So for our off campus event Steven and I went to the Blanton Art Museum. We also kidnapped our friend and made him come with us while (falsely) promising him free burritos. I generally like art museums and go a few times a year (Mostly with my mom or brother as my dad's side of the family doesn't go for that kind of thing) but I really hate modern art so I thought this qualified as a stretch. It was. I would never have gone if I didn't have to. A few highlights, there were of course paint splatter paintings (which I expected and loath) in addition, there was weird, Pointless sculptures made of welded metals and wood, Some ridiculously simplistic paintings, (think third grade project) and a few exhibits like the first one we saw; a bunch of paper scraps randomly thrown on the floor. How artistic. That said, some of the sculptures were really interesting. There was one particularly that I thought at first to be two interlocking cubes but was in fact a single piece (wow, I'm describing this poorly) that was really cool looking once you bend your mind a little bit. Also, one painting was entirely black but with darker and lighter hues that showed a bedroom complete with furniture, person, things. (I think it's one of those things where you had to be there, but it was really cool looking) My favorite though was a walk-in exhibit entitled building cathedrals. (or something like that) It had 600,000 pennies on the ground in a kind of wavy pattern, 80 or so cow bones hung on the ceiling, a black shroud all the way around (a kind of room about the size of the room we meet in) with some communion wafers hanging from the ceiling. This was all supposed to represent the genocide of American Indians and the profiteering of imperialist dogma (hence the pennies) and it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. After that we walked around the permanent exhibit a little more and I got to see some Greek pottery that was fantastic as well as some more normal paintings that I could appreciate. Other highlights of the night include our friend punching Steven in the face after finding out there weren't any burritos and that we had lied to him, playing in the UT rubber strand forest thing (I hope you know what I'm talking about) and the surprising amount of homeless people accosting us in drunken song for spare change. I had a blast but I still much prefer impressionist art or Greek sculpture to modern (ie. bad) art. Some of the exhibits just pissed me off, If I had spent any money I would have been very frustrated at the simplicity displayed as art. (one thing was just a piece of pink cloth nailed to a wall !) But overall, a great experience.

On campus event

I went to a biology presentation by Dr. Nancey Street the Associate Dean of the Graduate School of Biomedical Sciences at UT Southwestern Medical Center. She presented some information about their graduate program and a few examples of some of the research being done there. I can't wait to go to graduate school (not there and certainly not in biology) as it seems much more independent and in-depth. I really don't like molecular biology (I'm more of a big-picture person) so the presentation wasn't really fantastic, but that said, I have always loved biology and the concepts were interesting enough on an abstract level. I definitely wouldn't have gone if I didn't have to, but I'm glad I did as I have a much better appreciation of what the science students here go through and what their classes are like. This was also the first time I've really had graduate school discussed and I'm really anticipating it. As for the subject matter, I learned about pathogen fighting, gene testing, microbiology and LDL defects that may cause heart problems. I like the Idea of reasearch a lot. I could see myself in love with a subject and pursuing a solution endlessly even if I meet with problems. I think I could really get into that mindset where even after work, my life is consumed by this Question. I've always been obsessivly curious so I think reasearch is a good place for me. On the other hand, I really hate micro biology so that and other medical approaches are off the table for me. Also, I'm not sure I would like the lack of human contact or the montony of the tests themselves. Overall, I think being an anaylist is the right place for me. I get human contact, a subject that interests me, obsessive questioning, independent study, and I get to have that feeling at the end that I really did something. I think that would be the best part, having completed a field of reasearch, To see the results like a display of your greatness. That would be really cool. I am really glad I had this assignment and I wish sometimes I didn't like the humanities so much so that I would force myself to study other things. Right now I tend to head in a very specific direction (political science) with a broad base (philosophy/History/Economics/Psychology) but I don't really get out of those subjects much. overall, this was boring but fun. strange contradiction.- David

Civic Engagement (take II)

I still think civic engagement is for people other than myself. Despite our talking about the perils of self-righteous behavior following volunteering I still think most of us are imbued with that feeling. To put this in context, I try very hard to live up to my expectations of myself. I have promised myself thought my life that there are things I will never do and things I will constantly strive for. I have never broken any of the 20+ promises I've made. I focus more on what I should be doing and how I should lead my life than anyone I've ever met. I also really hate people accepting ideas of what they should do without any thought. I felt like missing from our discussion today was the question why. Why should we volunteer for others? It seemed as if we accepted this without thought as just part of a larger social agreement that "engagement" is good. That it makes up for the moral abdication so many people go through while ignoring the necessity of formulating their own beliefs. I contend that helping people isn't the end all of human benevolence. Much more than help, I would prefer everyone left me alone. (not in terms of having no friends :), I mean in terms of not paying taxes for social goods or affirmative action, poverty assistance, telling me what I can't do with my body or in my spare time, or public welfare.) I'm more-or-less self sufficient and I would ask everyone else to be so, or at least not demand that I assist them. I don't ask anyone to volunteer for me, why should I have to help them? I'm under no moral compulsion by virtue of my being human. That grants them no title to my labor or benevolence. The only thing I owe them is not to violate their rights. As for these feelings of privilege that no doubt many of us feel, I'm completely opposed to that. I love my position in life but no system gave me this. My single-parent mom worked 3 jobs for years to see her kids through school. My brother and I worked incredibly hard to get where we are. No one gave us this, we earned it. I feel as though too many of us assume that we owe other people things without first asking why. This of course leads to the self righteous behavior when we do volunteer. People feel as though others should laud their accomplishment as part of a shared delusion about their purpose. Rather than strive to find their meaning in life, people buy into existing ones (religions, political parties, NGO's, and yes, volunteering.) Its trendy and popularly accepted so people do it with the hopes that this will finally confer meaning to their pointless life. I strive to be a good friend and a good person and I don't mean to imply that all volunteering is bad, it can be quite the force for good, we must however have this debate as to why we do it. I don't because it's enough for me by fulfilling my promises to grant myself that "good person" status all people crave. Seeing as how we have to though, I would recommend we asist the elderly in retirement communities. besides helping them (which we seem to have automatically accepted as a good thing) it provides us with knowledge about life. In trying to decide where I want to go and what I want to do in my future, knowledge of those who have previously traveled this path and know the dangers is invaluable. There is at least no debate here, we should do this because it helps us by giving a context for the rest of our lives. I'm not opposed to being with kids, I don't know what we can learn but I love children and their excitement. If we want to I'd like to do stuff with kids (or cute animals for that matter) but we should have clearer goals in mind for our own progress. I also like the idea of 3-4 person mini-groups as this would be diverse (good since I doubt we'll all agree on what we want to do) and yet large enough that we don't feel isolated or ineffectual. I would very much like to argue out why we're helping people, what we expect to accomplish, how often we should do this, what expertise we can bring, and how this fits into our individual conceptions of our purpose.

I translate "Civic Engagement" as "waste of time." or alternativly, thing that others enjoy but I am most likely to loath (like math and self-mutilation) I don't volunteer... ever. I suspect that in the context of Paidea this will mean getting together as a group and helping some belaugred institiution like a school district or non-profit deal with its overburden. As for what I expect from this, I expect to have some fun with everyone while trying to forget that I'm working without pay. I don't hope to gain or accomplish anything, I won't delude myself into thinking that the aid the few of us provide every once and a while is anything but a symbolic gesture of goodwill. I would most prefer to just talk with old people at retirement centers. I think this would dovetail nicely with "understanding human behavior" as I would ask them what mistakes they made in their lives and what, looking back, they would prioritize more. I'm pretty arrogant but I always value the experience and specialized knowlege others can provide. I'm a bit obssesed with how quickly my youth seems to be leaving and I would value their insight into what challenges lay ahead. All my grandparents are dead and I don't really have that much contact with old people so this would be escpecially valuable for me. As for worries and concerns I'm just worried this will be even less fun than I imagined. I only have a short time on this earth, I'd like to make the most of it and focus on what makes me happy not helping other nameless people.