Goodbye Carlos

Today we finished our last session at the boy's and girl's club, I'm celebrating never having to see Carlos ever again. I have never in my life met such a disobedient, selfish, uncooperative, kid. I will not miss him or his incessant crying and already I can taste the sweet air of freedom. On the other hand, I really liked some of the kids, like my buddy Daniel and his friends. I have very seriously considered continuing to volunteer there but, as I'm transferring and won't be able to do it during the summer anyway, I think leaving now, before they get attached is better for them. I have somewhat revised my initial opinion that all the kids were hopeless. Actually, this is more frustrating, I feel like I (or someone else) can make a difference in these kid's lives. They have so much potential and are so readily helped, I feel like with just a little attention and care, they could become anything they wanted. I finally get the appeal of teaching or volunteering. As I said though, this also seems more frustrating because, when they don't change, you feel more personally like its your fault, as though you've let them down. This kind of thing must kill regular volunteers. As for our actual project, I'm not sure "success" is the right word to use, but I do think it had a huge positive impact. The kids kind of cooperated while playing sports, but on the other hand, they also almost fought each other over things like the team name, what counts as a first down, who would throw next etc. On the boat building project, they seemed to have fun and use their imaginations, but they also didn't really work as a group at all. For our final day, trying to combine elements of the other lessons, it did seem like they picked partners more easily than before and that they were able to cooperate a little better, but that may just be because they were actually enthusiastic about our water-balloon toss (soon to become a water balloon fight). I left feeling like I may have helped a few of them with teamwork, but by and large I think they will remain mostly independent. some structural factors come into play like the fact that the kids arrive and leave at random intervals. Also, the same kids aren't always there day to day and that can limit team formation, but mostly the problem is that they just have too much to do. They don't have to group up because the facilities are nice enough that everyone can just do their own thing. (the vast age difference doesn't help either) As for our actual impact then, I don't feel like we made them more team-oriented but we may have introduced them to other members that they didn't know that well and encouraged sports and therefore (hopefully) fitness and cooperation down the road. beyond that, using my authority as a cool adult figure I was able to instill some values with them regarding teamwork. By not approving of grandstanding, recognizing skill everywhere I saw it, disapproving of crying, cheating, or fighting, I think I may have made them more likely to share these same values later when they play but the attitude of the older kids is crucial. Basically, "Cool" is defined by the oldest male(s) present in the group and how he reacts to the game defines how everyone else sees it. Hopefully, they will carry this kind of process forward, But I think its more likely that the older kids will revel in being better than all the other kids and just grow more authoritarian. the group dynamics at work are fascinating and that may have been what I enjoyed most of all, I felt like I was back in elementary school and got to see again how primitive young humans are. If I were Daniel, I would target the older kids with the torch group stuff and try to teach them to have more responsibility for the younger kids. Second, I would make certain days devoted to a particular sport to get everyone involved instead of off wandering around somewhere. I would also find some way of disciplining problem kids like Carlos while encouraging leadership in better (if more timid) kids. In any case, I had a great time and felt like I connected with about 5-7 of the kids and made at least a little difference in their lives.